Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
