It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
