i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize