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• (315): View more from New York

  if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom

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  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps

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• (850): View more from Florida

  The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!

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• (212): View more from New York

  If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up

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