i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE