Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...

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  (248): Party's warming up, a tranny just got here... http://tfl.nu/y3c5
  Replies (1) Good night (4777) Bad night (1628)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.

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  (336): If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions. http://tfl.nu/lybr
  Replies (54) Good night (759) Bad night (1554)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life

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  (504): My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life http://tfl.nu/kko9
  Replies (21) Good night (6666) Bad night (1292)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag

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  (970): She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag http://tfl.nu/lpir
  Replies (10) Good night (1017) Bad night (2639)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?

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  (901): I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that? http://tfl.nu/6l8j
  Replies (13) Good night (880) Bad night (3650)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night

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  (712): I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night http://tfl.nu/v3fw
  Replies (20) Good night (3776) Bad night (1657)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.

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  (210): no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here. http://tfl.nu/1kwe
  Replies (8) Good night (1358) Bad night (3664)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE

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  (612): Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE http://tfl.nu/81rr
  Replies (3) Good night (1256) Bad night (487)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously

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  (360): he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously http://tfl.nu/w3a5
  Replies (3) Good night (1823) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO

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  (609): On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO http://tfl.nu/r9jo
  Replies (26) Good night (805) Bad night (2081)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.

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  (217): sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar. http://tfl.nu/imgt
  Replies (4) Good night (1379) Bad night (585)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.

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  (786): I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming. http://tfl.nu/qge1
  Replies (3) Good night (332) Bad night (543)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it

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  (571): My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it http://tfl.nu/xr2p
  Replies (2) Good night (318) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.

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  (508): You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment. http://tfl.nu/adm1
  Replies (0) Good night (257) Bad night (366)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?

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  (404): Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet? http://tfl.nu/rr8x
  Replies (1) Good night (258) Bad night (394)

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