ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?