I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize
