her vagine was all disorganized.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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