morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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