You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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