what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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