I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Randomize
