Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
