He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
