i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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