Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
