Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
