dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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