U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Best friends brother. Beat that.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
