You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i was born a porn star she said
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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