Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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