was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
