It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
