Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
