I just threw up on my dentist
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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