Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
