walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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