hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
