I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
