You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
