kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
