carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
