I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
