u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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