hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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