That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize