ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
