do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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