my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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