Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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