what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
