i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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