even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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