o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
