Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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