I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
