so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize