suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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