You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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