Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
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It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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