What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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