Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
im holly from the hills drunk
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
