someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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