party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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