VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
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