you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
