Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
