end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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