Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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