I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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