I feel like abortions should bother me more
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
