I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize