I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize