I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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