"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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