I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
