I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
