if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize